Produtos bizarros ligados ao mercado literário

POSTADO POR: admin qui, 04 de julho de 2013

Sabemos que hoje em dia os livros não são apenas livros, e os autores não são apenas autores, por mais que detestemos a ideia, temos que encarar a realidade e admitir que eles são marcas, e são comercializados como tal. Então, se você está cansado de ouvir sobre sobre ’50 Tons de Cinza’ agora, espere até aquela sua tia solteirona pedir a Lingerie 50 Tons de Natal. A produtora que comprou os direitos de licenciamento da serie, já antecipou que junto com os filmes, será lançado brinquedos eróticos, porta-chaves, as gravatas masculinas da capa, jóias, perfumes e todo tipo de bugiganga inspirada nos livros.

Afinal, não é nada demais supor que você, ao gostar de um livro ou autor, provavelmente compre a camisa, caneca, ou um marcador que seja, referente a essa obra ou seu criador. Mas o que fazer com produtos bizarros como calcinhas, cortina de chuveiro, e tabuleiro Ouija? 
Pois é, o mercado literário não é tão simples como se imagina. Pra se ter uma idéia, Abaixo você irá conhecer alguns dos itens mais estranhos inspirados em livros…

Vassoura Vibratória do Harry Potter
Em algum lugar por aí, há um executivo de uma empresa de brinquedos que merece um sarcástico ‘parabéns’. Me refiro a pessoa que participou de uma reunião sobre um cabo de vassoura projetado para ir entre as pernas das crianças, e disse: “O que está faltando aqui é um recurso de vibração.”. Esse mestre do marketing teve a indignidade de ver a Vassoura Nimbus 2000 Vibratória sumir das prateleiras das lojas logo após o seu lançamento, para em seguida ouvir alguns pais se ‘queixarem’ o quanto suas filhas apreciam esse lançamento.
O brinquedo que tinha como slogan a seguinte frase:“Tenha a sensação de estar voando de verdade”, parece ter a capacidade mágica de convencer as mulheres de todas as idades a fazer um divertido passeio no mundo de Harry Potter. Basta ver que em lojas virtuais gringas, o produto recebe comentários do tipo: “Quando a minha filha de 12 anos pediu a Vassoura Vibratória do Harry Potter de presente de aniversário, eu meio que achei que ela era velha demais para esse tipo de brinquedo, mas ela simplesmente adora. Suas amigas também! Eles brincam por horas em seu quarto com a tal vassoura eletrônica … Até minha filha mais velha, de 17 anos, volta e meia pega o brinquedo da caçula para usar!”. Tem pai que é cego mesmo.

O Trono de Ferro de ‘Game Of Thrones’
Você sabe o que realmente faria a diferença no seu quarto? Um trono de três toneladas feito de mil espadas tiradas de seus inimigos em batalhas. 
Mas se você está atolado de trabalho e sem tempo para realizar toda essa matança, não se preocupe, a HBO fez o trabalho sujo por você modelando em tamanho real a réplica do trono real dos livros de George RR Martin. Todo feito em fibra de vidro, com resina à prova de fogo e pintado a mão.
Pode não ser muito confortável para a sua região lombar, mas com certeza seu sogro vai aprender a respeitar a sua autoridade quando fizer uma próxima visita a sua casa.

Jogo de Tabuleiro ‘Medo e Delírio’

Este jogo de tabuleiro foi imprudentemente inspirado no escritor Hunter S. Thompson e em suas obras entorpecidas: Inclui estimulantes, anti-depressivos, inalantes, alucinógenos, misturado a dados e cartões de desafios. Embora a maioria das substâncias sejam falsas e o jogo nunca tenha sido produzido em larga escala, as regras e as imagens dos cartões para impressão ainda podem ser encontradas em alguns sites especializados em Board Games
Ou seja, com um contato com um bom traficante de drogas, um saudável sentimento de auto-destruição, e um pouco de astúcia, você pode facilmente fazer uma versão caseira do jogo.

Os Móveis de Hemingway 
Você já deixou a barba crescer, passa o dia vestido com uma icônica camisola de gola alta, tem problemas com a bebida, e acabou de se divorciar da sua terceira esposa, mas ainda não conseguiu um contrato com uma editora? O que fazer? Bem, talvez o próximo passo no seu esquema de obsessão por Hemingway, seja se livrar da sua mobília das Casas Bahia e adquirir a luxuosa coleção de móveis Hemingway Thomasville .
Pode começar com o hediondo Troféu de Chifre (o site explica que o produto está ligada aos troféus de animais que Hemingway conquistou durante seu safári no Leste Africano em 1934), e então escrever suas histórias na mesa Hemingway Writing Desk. Depois é só sentar em uma dessas desconfortáveis cadeiras apresentadas pelo site, e esperar o prêmio Pulitzer.

‘Crepúsculo’ entre as pernas
Se você está procurando material oficial do Crepúsculo, não vai faltar coisas bizarras sobre a franquia, desde recortes de papelão dos personagens em tamanho real a action figures. Mas por mais estranho que eles possam parecer, pelo menos nada disso chega perto da sua virilha.
Infelizmente, alguns fãs mais afoitos resolveram ultrapassar essa barreira. E com isso, no mercado paralelo você pode encontrar os Preservativos Crepúsculo que garantem que seu ventre não será devorado por um feto vampiro. Ou que tal a calcinha do Edward Cullen com a imagem da boca do ator não só por fora, mas também no forro interno da peça. E o que dizer de um pálido e medonho vibrador intitulado The Vamp, onde as instruções orienta a usuária que o coloque um tempo na geladeira para atingir uma ‘experiencia autentica com um vampiro’. Um presente ideal para uma necrófila exigente.

Tabuleiro Ouija Sylvia Plath

Reconhecida principalmente por sua obra poética, Sylvia Plath escreveu também alguns romances semi-autobiográficos. Em uma fria manhã de fevereiro, Plath vedou completamente o quarto dos filhos com toalhas molhadas deixando leite e pão perto de suas camas, e em seguida, tomou uma grande quantidade de narcóticos, deitando logo após a cabeça sobre uma toalha no interior do forno, com o gás ligado, morrendo pouco tempo depois.
E logo alguém pensou que esse seria o drama perfeito para usar como tema de um tabuleiro Ouija. Plath e seu marido, Ted Hughes, eram conhecidos por consultar a ‘tábua dos espíritos‘, o escritor torturado até escreveu um poema intitulado “Ouija”. Assim, apesar do esquema de cores escalafobético, o tabuleiro Ouija Sylvia Plath pode parecer inofensivo à primeira vista. Até você perceber que a prancheta, teoricamente, movida pelos espíritos é no formato de um forno.

COMENTÁRIOS




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