Perturbação Interna

POSTADO POR: admin qui, 17 de maio de 2012

O que fazer quando, do nada, você começa a receber e-mails com relatos sinistros de um desconhecido? Bom, eu resolvi publicar aqui no blog! 
Para isso eu criei essa sub-coluna intitulada ‘Perturbação Interna’ onde pretendo postar, e dividir com vocês, essas conturbadas palavras que insistem em chegar a minha caixa de entrada. 
Eu preciso muito escrever. Minhas drogas,…Estou quase uma semana sem. Não sou nenhum viciado, são remédios, desses que se vende nas farmácias. Posso optar por parar de tomá-los quando quiser. Já tentei parar.
Poderia contar para alguém, simplesmente falar; mas não posso contar para ninguém. Seria assustador para aqueles que me conhecem.
Eu só quero escrever.

Eu quase morri. Eu teria morrido se não fosse minha mulher. Não tinha descanso, estava tocando vários projetos pessoais e enfrentando uma vida profissional estressante que exige muita responsabilidade. O futuro de muitas vidas dependem da minha
profissão, e o de muitas outras poderia melhorar com meus projetos.
Eu estava insuportável, agressivo, com alterações de humor, esgotado, e quase morri.
Minha mulher deu um ultimato, e para minha sorte, ao invés de brigar e quebrar a casa, decidi que ela deveria ganhar.
Duas semanas depois fui internado. Se eu insistisse no trabalho não teria segunda chance. Meu corpo não estava dando conta do monstro,
e eu,… Eu era o monstro.
Um mês no hospital, e mais um ano de recuperação. Foi quando eu comecei a tomar as drogas. Remédios. Nada ilegal. Mas preciso de prescrição médica para poder comprar mais. E eles acabaram no início da semana.
Eu fui deixando pra lá, enrolando para pegar a receita médica, e hoje eu percebi claramente o monstro voltando. Me dei conta de todos
os sinais, todas as alterações de comportamento.Voltei a me incomodar com tudo que está errado ao meu redor, a sentir uma vontade incontrolável de consertar tudo isso. 
E amanhã, pela manhã, tem uma reunião no meu trabalho. Uma reunião com o propósito de organizar várias mentiras para fazer de conta que tudo está certo,
para continuar escondendo a sujeira que está sendo feita longe das vistas dos outros. Oito horas de sociopatas lendo frases prontas que insultam a inteligência de qualquer um que tenha a capacidade de ler um jornal. Rodeado por colegas de trabalho que, ou realmente não tem a capacidade de ler um jornal, ou são psicopatas o suficiente para sacrificar
várias vidas para manter seu salário miserável.
E eu acho que não foi por rotina ou esquecimento. Acho que eu não entreguei a receita médica na farmácia de propósito.
É como se o monstro quisesse fazer alguma coisa.
Amanhã.

COMENTÁRIOS




OBS. O campo de e-mail é de preenchimento obrigatórios, mas uma vez preenchidos não será mostrado na mensagem. Já o campo de nome é obrigatório, mas pode ser preenchido com um pseudônimo.

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  57. Malvadão disse:

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    Skillet – Monster;
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    Animes que demonstram isso: Bleach [Quando o Hollow toma conta do Ichigo]