O dia que conheci um Papa…

POSTADO POR: admin sex, 13 de janeiro de 2012

Era um
desses cenários de feriado que eu consideraria odioso hoje em dia, mas
extremamente empolgante para um adolescente, e era isso que eu era. Não lembro
minha idade com exatidão, mas a minha inexperiência de vida era nítida devido a
um profundo corte no dedão da mão esquerda que fora feito estupidamente
enquanto tentava fazer a barba, disso eu lembro bem. Na verdade acho que era
apenas o bigode, nossa masculinidade sempre começa a dar o ar de sua graça se
concentrando primeiramente na área do buço.
Fazer a
barba foi necessário porque a ocasião era especial.  Eu estava espremido
entre malas e cacarecos em um carro popular a convite de uma amiga rumo ao
carnaval de Parati . Ela tinha acabado de terminar um namoro um tanto
conturbado e precisava de alguém para ouvir suas mazelas, eu só queria
aproveitar os quatro dias de folia o mais longe de casa possível. Que fosse Parati então…
Durante
algum tempo o irmão de Marta dirigiu em silêncio com a namorada no banco do
carona enquanto, no banco de trás, minha amiga me adiantava o bucólico assunto
do seu rompimento que me acompanharia pelo resto do feriado.
Paramos
em um posto de beira de estrada para Eduardo encher o tanque e esvaziar a
bexiga. Com a queda do nível de testosterona dentro do carro, Talita se
contorceu no banco da frente para poder virar e conversar com Marta. Se iniciou
então uma série de cochichos femininos que silvavam como o vapor de uma panela
de pressão.

Entender aquele linguajar era quase impossível, mas vez ou outra
alguma palavra era entoada com um pouco mais de entusiasmo pelas duas e eu
conseguia ouvi-la, embora nada entendesse. Comecei a imaginar que as mulheres
possuíam um vocabulário próprio, todo desenvolvido especialmente para elas com
o claro objetivo de deixar os machos longe de suas conversas.
Enquanto eu mentalmente tentava registrar todas aquelas novas palavras para uma futura pesquisa, que seria feita em um dicionário, acabei por
reconhecer em meia aquela confusa conversa, um nome de pompa e aparato. Sabendo
que jamais encontraria o significado de um nome próprio no ‘pai dos burros’,
resolvi sair da minha condição de ouvinte incidental e me arrisquei em
perguntar como um santo nome coube no assunto daquelas infiéis prestes a se
entregarem a esbórnia do carnaval.
-Como assim um Papa?
As duas pararam de falar abruptamente e me olharam espantadas.
Imaginei que estivessem zangadas pela minha intromissão, mas logo minha
suposição caiu por terra quando a dupla se entreolhou e em coro caíram em risadas.
E eu ali de inocente, sendo motivo de piada, sem nada entender.
Esperei até que as duas se acalmassem e Talita finalmente viesse com uma
explicação.
-É que existe um exame, que nós mulheres temos que fazer, que se chama
Papa Nicolau.
-Ah, então é esse o assunto? Exames ginecológicos?
-É. Porque? Pensou que estávamos falando sobre o que?
-Não tenho ideia. Só não esperava que fosse algo aprovado pela igreja cristã.

COMENTÁRIOS




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