Em tempo de guerra, urubu é frango

POSTADO POR: admin sex, 07 de setembro de 2012

GUERRA É GUERRA!
Tupi contra as forças do Krav Maga e
da Lei Maria da Penha
Era uma segunda
feira. Estávamos, Mathias e eu, voltando de um cansativo evento cultural no
Centro do Rio. O carro dele estava quebrado na oficina, o meu foi vendido em
2008, e os táxis da cidade estão mais caros do que as Termas de nível C. A
solução foi achar um ônibus.
Antes de encarar
o caminho de volta para o subúrbio (eu para Abolição e ele para Rocha Miranda),
paramos em um barzinho “pé sujo” onde enchemos a cara com cerveja barata.
Depois, pegamos uma condução vazia na Central do Brasil. O relógio já marcava
mais de duas da manhã.
– Camarada Mathias, lá em casa ainda restam três
garrafas fechadas.
– Cerveja?
– Vinho seco.
– Que seja! Vamos terminar de beber na sua
casa, então.
– Claro.. E lá você pode descansar no sofá
da sala, até de manhã, sem problemas…
– Beleza. Você reparou bem naquele último
escritor ‘caga goma’ lá da palestra?
– Não. Nem quero pensar mais em escritores,
cara… Dá um tempo aí. Finja que é trapezista, sei lá…
O caixotão de
ferro freou e nós descemos. Tudo parecia deserto no front, calmaria estranha, capaz de gerar certo grau de desconforto.
Entramos em uma rua mais deserta ainda, repleta de amendoeiras tortas que
cresceram meio de lado, duas ruas antes da minha.
– Que porra é aquela ali, Pitz?!
Um camarada de
dois metros de altura estava dando uns tabefes na cara da mulher. Brigavam
embaixo do poste luz, dava pra ver que o agressor era um tipo de índio gigante,
meio coroa, cabelo comprido, sujeito parrudo e forte. A mulher aparentava ser
mais nova, era branca e bem miúda. Apanhava em silêncio.
– É o maluco do Tupi… Está descendo lenha
na mulher…
– Você conhece esse escroto?!
– Conheço, Mathias… Vamos andando. A mulher
dele gosta da coisa. Deixa pra lá.
– GOSTA É O
CARALHO! Perdeu o juízo, meu amigo?! Dou jeito no cara, agora mesmo! Sou
praticante de Krav Maga! Arrebento com qualquer covarde!!
– Falou alto e o
índio ouviu. Largou da mulher e veio vidrado em nossa direção.
– O malandro aí
falou alguma coisa pra mim?
– Perguntou o gigante apontando dedo.
– Nada, Tupi. O meu
camarada aqui está chateado com o trabalho, só isso. Estamos em paz.
– UMA PORRA QUE EU ESTOU EM PAZ! ESSE MARMANJO
É UM COVARDÃO, AGRESSOR DE MULHERES !! EU LHE ARREBENTO A CARA SE VOCÊ NÃO
PARAR DE BATER NAQUELA SENHORA!
Mathias bradou
bêbado e recebeu um direto de esquerda no meio da boca. Tentou erguer-se
depressa para usar o tal Krav Maga, porém Tupi acertou-lhe um chute nos bagos,
bem no meio das pernas. E mais um soco cruzado na têmpora direita.
– Agora é a sua
vez!
– Virou-se para mim.
– Tem certeza,
Tupi?
– Como é que é?!
– Eu não tenho
nada a perder, você sabe. Pego dois bandidinhos imundos aqui da área e mato
você e sua mulher, sem piscar.
– Tá me
ameaçando, seu merdinha?
– Não. Só estou
avisando que se você me tocar, eu vou comer o seu cu com farofa, só isso. O resto
é contigo…
A mulher
percebeu que Tupi estava entrando em um jogo perigoso, mais perigoso do que o
joguinho de casal deles, e começou a chamá-lo de volta.
– Eu vou entrar
por causa dela, mas você não me mete medo não. Professorzinho de merda…
Não respondi
nada. Apenas acendi um cigarro e fiquei olhando frio nos olhos esbugalhados
daquele infeliz. Ele foi andando, virava cabreiro para trás. Entrou. A mulher
dele me xingou de viado, mostrou o dedo do meio, depois entrou na casa batendo
o portão. Devia estar doidinha para apanhar mais do seu cacique (cada imbecil
fica feliz de um jeito)… Pois é.
Levantei o
Mathias do chão e continuamos a caminhada, bem devagar.
– Pitz…
– O quê…?
– Você mataria mesmo
aquele sujeitinho asqueroso?
– Não, Mathias…
Nem tenho como.
– Então por que
diabos disse aquilo?
– Ora, meu amigo…
Guerra é guerra.

COMENTÁRIOS




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