10 Coisas que vão mudar na sua vida após publicar o seu primeiro livro (ou assim me disseram)

POSTADO POR: admin qui, 03 de agosto de 2017

Pode parecer que não, mas fatalmente muitas coisas mudarão na sua vida depois que o seu primeiro trabalho finalmente estiver ao alcance do grande público. A partir deste momento uma linha sem retorno será cruzada, e o mundo que te cerca nunca mais será o mesmo.
Para te preparar para essa futura catarse pessoal, descrevemos aqui as dez ocorrências mais comuns no início de carreira de um escritor.

 

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1. Na manhã da publicação do seu livro você vai se olhar no espelho do banheiro e verá um rosto diferente olhando de volta pra você; um rosto real, não a massa de carne disforme que antes você era obrigado a confrontar todas as manhãs. Você não ousará tocá-lo por medo de que este rosto evapore.

2. Você vai mudar a sua assinatura de e-mail de “Escritor”, para “Autor publicado!”. E até vai considerar a possibilidade de mudar a imagem de avatar do seu perfil para uma foto sua sorridente… Mas no fim, por bom senso, vai preferir não fazê-lo.
3. Sua mãe vai começar a levantar a sua moral nos jantares e nas conversas com os amigos e parentes. Porém, de forma consistente, vai passar a dar palpites constantes nos títulos das suas obras, na maioria das vezes querendo incluir algum ‘plural’ onde não cabe nenhum. Ela sempre terá uma melhoria a fazer no seu original.
4. Os Correios nunca entregarão as suas cópias pessoais da obra, e seu editor não será capaz de saber o destino de sua encomenda, e nem terá como substituí-la. Uma espera comparável a tortura. As semanas passarão e você levará o seu cachorro até o petshop, onde encontrará uma gaiola de pássaros com as páginas cagadas do seu livro.
5. Um dentre os três primeiros amigos que você escolheu para ler o original do seu livro perderão subitamente toda a memória referente a você, ou a existência do seu livro. Quando se deparar com a obra pronta exposta na prateleira de uma livraria, seu nome irá aparecer como um borrão na mente desse infeliz.
6. Algum aspirante a escritor vai escrever uma postagem sobre o seu livro. Provavelmente ele vai interpretar mal as suas intenções e apontará muitos elementos problemáticos que fazem o seu trabalho irrelevante para os leitores contemporâneos. Você novamente vai consultar aquele rosto refletido no espelho do banheiro e vai ganhar confiança ao rir de si mesmo e desta situação.
7. Aquele cara do colégio que vivia te azucrinando na hora do recreio vai encontrar algum parente seu na rua e se gabará de como vocês eram ‘muy amigos’ na adolescência. Cada boa notícia que essa criatura receber à seu respeito, será como um retalho de frustração a mais em sua colcha de fracassos.
8. Você vai pagar do próprio bolso para promover o lançamento do seu livro. Haverá apenas umas poucas pessoas que estarão ali realmente intencionadas à prestigiar o seu trabalho, e entre essa meia dúzia, apenas uma estará empolgada de verdade para ter a sua assinatura em um exemplar. A mesma que irá te dizer o quanto a leitura do seu livro foi importante para sua vida, e como a obra tocou em algo profundo em seu peito que ela nem sabia que estava lá à espera de ser desperta.
9. É provável que seu pai não de a mínima para o seu livro, mas se acaso isso ocorrer, ele vai te dar o primeiro ‘parabéns’ em muitos anos, mas vai dizer que não leu o livro ainda porque tem andado muito ocupado, mesmo já sendo aposentado. E ao contrário da sua mãe, ele jamais se gabará com os amigos a respeito disso e muito menos te ajudará na divulgação do seu trabalho.
10. Alguns meses após o lançamento um entrevistador vai entrar em contato por e-mail perguntando para quando sai o próximo livro, e você vai correr com o seu laptop para o banheiro, desejando que nunca tivesse tido um espelho por lá.

COMENTÁRIOS




OBS. O campo de e-mail é de preenchimento obrigatórios, mas uma vez preenchidos não será mostrado na mensagem. Já o campo de nome é obrigatório, mas pode ser preenchido com um pseudônimo.

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